1. |
Key of D
02:17
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Everything's gonna be right this time
Everything's gonna be fine in the key of D
Gonna get my shit together
In the key of D
In the key of D
Gonna quit drinking so damn much
Gonna stop making the same mistakes again
Over and over again
In the key of D
In the key of D
Over there there's always greener grass
Every time I try to fly I wind up on my ass
Don't it often seem that the deck of dreams
Is stacked against you and me?
But this is a positive song
I don't mean to lead you there
In the key of D
In the key of D
In the key of D In the key of D
In the key of D In the key of D
In that silly, happy key of D
In the key of D
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2. |
Put Down the Gun, Jake
02:53
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If my soul is something I spend when I drink
I must be damn nearly broke I think
How many one more chances does a person get
Before a glimmer of hope becomes a mountain of regret
Put down the gun, Jake
It's only a heartache
We all have to lie in the bed that we make
Don't do it for God's sake
It's a foolish mistake
Put down the gun, Jake
It's only a heartache
Well adultery's still a sin, just because it aint a crime
You shouldn't wind the watch if you can't do the time
It wasn't too long before you couldn't take the tickin'
I never said I was a Timex but I took a fuckin' wicked lickin'
Put down the bottle, Jake
It's only a heartache
We all have to lie in the bed that we make
Don't do it for God's sake
It's a foolish mistake
Put down the bottle, Jake
It's only a heartache
Well she moved in her boyfriend before the sheets got cold
They did it here and there, this way and that
And then outa there he rolled
But not before the little bastard stole my golf clubs...
(Golf's a stupid sport anyway...)
That's not the point!!
Put down the gun, Jake
It's only a heartache
We all have to lie in the bed that we make
Don't do it for God's sake
It's a foolish mistake
Put down the gun, Jake
It's only a heartache
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3. |
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Well a long time ago, when the blues what not a crime
Cost ya 2 nickels if ya couldn't find a dime
Now it takes 7 of them nickels just to call home
To find yer baby's gone and left you all alone
(Aw yer baby's gone and left ya on yer own)
Well she took all my albums
and she took my Sunday booze
She took all the dishes, even took my blue suede shoes
Now the crumbs of our love are all over the room
Where she left 'em and she even took the broom
(Where she left 'em and she even took the broom)
Now I can't afford to even go drownin' my sorrows
Down at the olde Legion hall
I'm just wanderin' around looking for empties
And savin' up pher a foan call
(Call my sister. She's a lawyer.)
So I went down to the pawn shop
just to try and sell my pants
And the guy behind the counter said
"I just can't take the chance"
So I asked him if he could spare 3 dimes and a nickel
He just laughed, jumped the counter
and took off on my bicycle
(He just laughed and took off on my bicycle)
Now I can't afford to even go drownin' my sorrows
Down at the olde Legion hall
I'm just wanderin' around looking for empties
And savin' up pher a foan call
(Call the cops. Have this place warned.)
Well I really need to call my Ma
and cry about all my troubles
But I'm sobbing so uncontrollably
that my nose is blowing bubbles
Besides that, she won't even let me call collect
Says it's bad for my self-respect
(It's bad for all my self-respect)
Now I can't afford to even go drownin' my sorrows
Down at the olde Legion hall
I'm just wanderin' around looking for empties
And savin' up pher a foan call
(Call an ambulence. Gonna attempt suicide.
Probly fail, tho...)
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4. |
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This here's the story of Poor Random Dan
He didn't have no money and he didn't have no plan
But he had him 2 thumbs and a Jew's harp
So he headed out West
With one thumb up his nose and the other out yonder
He said, "Let the wind carry me along
upon it's mighty wander"
Well he hitched him a ride just this side of the border
From somebody's Grannie, who gave him a quarter
Then she beat him up and left him at the end of the highway
I mean a big brick wall with nothin' behind it, he said
"I'm sure I'd love my life if I could only damn well find it"
Poor Random Dan, he's an easy goin' man
Oblivious even to his own despair
Up Shit Creek without an oar
But he thinks he's on the shore
A rat stuck in a trap who doesn't care
So he walked awhile and tripped on a turd he'd been kickin
And he felt just like an eagle, who felt just like a chicken
And then he thought, "What I need here's a strategy..."
So he pulled up his pants and he raised up his hands
He said, "I don't need me no plan, I'm a damn lucky man!"
Poor Random Dan, he's an easy goin' man
Oblivious even to his own despair
Up Shit Creek without an oar
But he thinks he's on the shore
A rat stuck in a trap who doesn't care
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5. |
We Humans
04:17
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Well the poultry has been basted
Now the feast is all but tasted
We should be numbered for our placement
But we're all wasted in the basement
Oh, you can't take us anywhere
Scarcely aware of our own complete despair
Choked by fear, spurred by greed and fury
But we humans are okay, don't worry
If the things I feel keep fallin'
From the fingers of my feeler
I'll soon find myself chasin'
The chair that wheels my dealer
Through the selfish lust, towards my imminent shame
A little more for the pile and tomorrow I'll do the same
We can't even believe our own behaviour
But we humans won't admit we need a saviour
We say we're rich
Our comforts we've painstakingly designed
But we're wretched, poor, naked, miserable and blind
A god I've made in my own image
To place upon a shelf
Is not a god who'll save me from myself
Thru entwining vines we climb, looking for the New Wine
Some kind of lasting feeling, some meaning or some sign
Well the meaning's in a lost stranger's eyes
And the wine is on the vine
And the need to search itself is the sign
A lifetime's stubborn struggle, all for nought
We humans are a peculiar lot
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6. |
The Bullshit Song
02:07
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The Bullshit Song
Heaven and Hell, harps and accordions
What's that smell - can you guess where I've been?
My affairs are in order, and order's despair
Can you spare a quarter so I can call someone who cares?
It's all bullshit, bullshit
No matter how you say it
It's all bullshit anyway
Bullshit, bullshit
And there's only one thing baby
That I've got left to say
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Words are like rivers, they flow til they drown me
My pencil's giving me slivers
My own bullshit surrounds me
And the critic says I'm brilliant
and he knows his asshole
From a hole in the ground somewhere in El Paso
It's all bullshit, bullshit
No matter how you say it
It's all bullshit anyway
Bullshit, bullshit
And there's only one thing baby
That I've got left to say
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Hey diddle-diddle the cat and the fiddle
Thank youfor the insight
Thank you very liddle
Hey, Bob get a job
So you can take me for a beer
You lazy fuckin' slob
Get that stupid fuckin' wheelchair outa here
It's all bullshit, bullshit
No matter how you say it
It's all bullshit anyway
Bullshit, bullshit
And there's only one thing baby
That I've got left to say
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
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7. |
Arrow, Girl
04:43
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Arrow thinks life's a joke
I met her smiling the day I awoke
And she sang me away into dreamland
The last time she spoke
Arrow tends the garden
The garden where I raise my hopes
Nurturing and fondling
Securing them with ropes
Arrow never really laughs but she never complains
She wanders around kissing flowers out in the pouring rain
She feels me way down in the bottom of her soul
She lives only to be near me but prefers to be alone
Arrow was not broken
After she finally surrendered
But in certain proper places
She was a lot more tender
Arrow and I live in the basement
Where there's nowhere to go but up
And the children come around and put flowers in her hair
And she lovingly leads them in prayer
Arrow never really laughs but she never complains
She wanders around kissing flowers out in the pouring rain
She feels me way down in the bottom of her soul
She lives only to be near me but prefers to be alone
Arrow thinks life's a joke
I met her smiling the day I awoke
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8. |
I Wanna Be a Regaler Guy
02:18
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I wanna be a regaler guy
I wanna have a dog and like football and work 9-5
Or at least write a normal song to which anyone
Could identify
I wanna be a regaler guy
I wanna be a regaler guy
Three squares on my table and a complete lack of time
Little young'uns fallin' down and a big old
Steak in the pan to fry
I wanna be a regaler guy
A sweet lady to give me that regular tingle
Dress up, go to stupid parties and mingle
To be oh, so blissfully married but longing for the days
I was on my own
And that's a life I wish I'd never known
I wanna be a regaler guy
Early to bed, early to work and early to die
A lottery ticket every payday and a list
of regular things to buy
I wanna be a regaler guy
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9. |
Diddle-iddle
02:51
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Vittle fixens, damn the dickens
If'n I do declare
Or even if'n I don't. Maybe I won't
If'n the chickens don't care
Piddlin' away on a little old fiddle
Smack dab in the middle
Diddle-iddle-iddle-iddle Will Joe, Can Joe
Cluckin' on a rockin' old banjo
Git a little, did a little, Do a little noodlin'
Jews in a shoe store don't bring the poodle in
Riddle me this' Jimmy Finnegan
Did a biggun did a little 'un?
Trim little vixen fixin' in the kitchen
Whoa, she's a handful 'o damsel, Grannie
Without legs eggs are bound to get bumpt
But I say Humpty Dumpty jumpt
Git a little, did a little, Do a little noodlin'
Jews in a shoe store don't bring the poodle in
Riddle me this' Jimmy Finnegan
Did a big 'un did a little 'un?
Yankee Doodle went to town
Ridin' on a Mexican
Crack sweat what done made his back wet
Get along, little doggie.
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10. |
Quarter to Three
06:11
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Please turn off this barnyard disco
I know I should leave
But I couldn't stay more
Tomorrow I'll feel like I've soaked
In burnt Crisco
Hey waitress, my whiskey drink is tray-sore
Don't wiggle that thing for me no more
If I tip you now
It'll make you a whore
Be careful, or you just might get what you ask for
Tease the devil with the keys
To your back door
Wait, no weight
Too heavy I say
Bring me a Coors Light
Better make it three
And it's all over for a waitress to see
It's all over at quarter to 3
And it's all over for me
Now we all know Tom Waits waits for no one
Accordions and bourbon
And rain dogs and shot guns
We've all fallen out of one of Tom's songs
One of the fly-on-the-wall-of-nowhere ones
But I'm proud to say there's no pride
In all these lies and hate and fornication
And that's the truth as it's come to be known here
And knowing is half the frustration
Wait, no weight
Too heavy I say
Bring me an angel, better make it 3
And it's all over for a blind fool to see
Hot bottle depot rot at about 2:43
And it's all over me
Spin your partner gold lamay
Everything's one big cliche
Do Me Til I Puke by Faberge
Oh, Jesus. Make the devil go away
Wait, no weight
Too heavy I say
Pour me a story of some grande victory
And it's all over for the whole world to see
And it's all over at quarter to 3
And it's all over for me.
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11. |
We Go Together
03:38
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You know if it won't go, you can't force it in
But we go together like beer and porcelain.
We go together like money and greed
I couldn't sell my soul for as much as you need
We go together like masters and slaves
You don't know which one you are until you get too brave
We go together like shovels and graves
A man has to drive on the road that he paves
Like candles and cold stormy weather
We go together
We go together like beetles and stones
Get back to where you once couldn't get no
We go together like whiskey and women
You're a siren, Sunday morning's cold stark prison
We go together like shovels and graves
A man has to drive on the road that he paves
Like birds of a ruffled feather
We go together
We go together like money and greed
I couldn't sell my soul for as much as you need
We go together like masters and slaves
You don't know which one you are until you get too brave
We go together like shovels and graves
A man has to drive on the road that he paves
Like candles and cold stormy weather
We go together
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12. |
Beatitudes
03:13
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Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
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13. |
Wallflower
02:16
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14. |
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So you bought a brand new car today
Will it take you so far away
From the wreckage of your life
Can you stand another day?
Butcher still gonna stroll into that bar
Where all those precious losers are
And your still gonna pick up that guitar
And sing of all your pains and troubles so far
Coz only they know who you are
And they really like your brand new car
So drink to tommorow
And sink back in the haze
And sing a song about today, baby
Coz these are the good olde days
Now the new kid wants to be your friend
But will he stick around until the bitter end?
Well that's a chance you might as well take
Coz there's so many memories you still ain't made
You wrap your coat around her and you're holding hands
And you reminisce about the moonlight on the sand
She waves from her porch as you look back from the street
And with a certain smile she promises
she'll always be around
Coz only she knows who you are
And she loves it when you play your guitar
So drink to tomorrow and the next bitter phase
And sing a song about today, baby
Coz these are the good olde days
I need someone to talk to tonight
And come tomorrow I know I'll be alright
Mick Jagger's singing, "Daddy you're a fool to cry"
And indeed it makes me wonder why
Coz only he knows how I feel
And I know there'll always be something real
So drink to tomorrow
When a better glass is raised
And sing a song about today, baby
Coz these are the good olde days
So drink to tomorrow
As you master the evening's maze
And sing a song about today, baby
Coz these are the good olde days
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15. |
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Maybe you need to be deathly hungover to understand some things
To confound everything
mix it together in your soul
to congeal into a new shape
Dogmas I believed to be sacredly self-contained
Turned out to be fluid and sloshy
nebulous, commingled
But I can't think about that anymore
I'm clear-headed and purposeful, like a newsboy
or a law student
or a hamster
Sometimes I miss my ontological soup, that reeked
of onions cooked by ethnic babysitters who resented me
They made me feel utterly vile
the greasy smell of their dutiful toil testified
That I should have been aborted
Or like the car exhaust that smelled like fried baloney
reminding me that I was just another meat-vehicle
moving handouts around town. But anyway.
There were these seasons of my life,
I would slosh around
trying to distinguish pain from wonder
love from regret
pity from hatred
need from rage
And if I got sick enough
That I couldn't tell a brick from eternity,
Soon enough, a fierce shock would leave nothing
but raw, honest truth
like it was etched in dirty bone
But I can't see into that now--
I'm making a list!
brushing up...
building a fence....
I would wander, at these times,
tirelessly, while exhausted
with naked bleeding need
and laws
and disgust
and lust
and despair like soot
and questions
and verdicts
and self pity
Swirling around like a barrel of hot swish
Dissolving the membranes that separate the senses
And on the rare occasions when I could talk in that state,
No one had a clue what I was saying.
But it wasn't that I was incoherent
It was that you have to be deathly hungover to understand some things.
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Craig Johnstone Vancouver, British Columbia
Craig Johnstone is a passionate and dedicated artist/photographer and Indie singer/songwriter living in or near Vancouver,
BC (Canada).
He began as a hard rock drummer, and developed a passion for songwriting and recording, and learned to play guitar.
Johnstone’s wonderfully unique Alternative Country Rock album "We Humans" is a cohesive, raw, gritty and enormously amusing collection of songs.
... more
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